"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, but we will escape it only by adding to it."

i have been told that all that i have been through, all that i have overcome in my past has made me who i am today. this used to scare me, knowing what is in my past. but the more that i let this in, the more i know it is true. i have been through a lot, not to say any more than others, but God wont try us anymore than we can handle, right? and i think i have been pushed as far as possible. i used to look in the mirror, and see pain in my eyes, sadness that i felt no one would ever know, no one would ever care. i was wrong. now i look in the mirror and know that i am happy, know that i am one amazing girl. only to argue my point, not to brag, i often get the compliment of "beautiful eyes", "golden rimmed, brown eyes", or my personal favorite " puppy dog eyes." i never got that before, ever.
through all the tears i have shed, through all the self-destructive thoughts, all the horrible, lonely days, i have been shaped, mended, to what i am now. in every sense of the saying " I am strong because i am weak. I am beautiful because i know my flaws. i am a lover because i am a fighter. i am fearless because i have been afraid. I am wise because i have been foolish. and I ca smile because i have known sadness." i have been brought closer to my family, closer to my savior, and God, and my friends. i am grateful for my past, for making me.