Each of us has a past, one that can creep upon us in the present. The pain never seems to go away, the fear of things you have done never leaves, and the people who have hurt you never disappear. For people like me it's even worse, because I over think everything, and in my mind I am at fault for almost everything that occurs in my life, its hard to live with myself sometimes. So how do people like me do it? how do we survive? Personally, I find my place of refuge. My sanctuary. Every few months the things that comfort me may change, with time, almost everything does. But in most cases, all the things that bring me to my sanctuary stay the same.
Writing is probably my most commonly used sanctuary, whether it is for my blog, in my journal, or just silent releasings of emotion into my notebooks. To me, writing is so personal, so emotional, and so inspiring. Could there be a better medication than to jot what is in my head, what needs to be said that may never be spoken. Through poetry I gain all that is needed from writing down my feelings in safisticated lines of code. Through my journal, I gain all the time for venting that it may take to cool down enough to think straight about life, and current situations. Through my blog, I am not sure exactly what I gain, I like to think that people read it, and even though I know that my audience is quite small, it gives me the satisfaction of putting my feelings out in the open without blowing up in someones face.
Music is just one thing, that everyone in the universe can agree, that reaches the soul in a way that no pass time can soothe, that no therapy can touch, and that no amount of endorphins can heal. Sitting in bed, wrapped in my covers in the middle of the day, is innapropriate and is a perfect waste of time. Unless of course you crank the music, and listen, and just drown yourself in the emotion of the rhythm, the sactity of the lyrics, and the purpose of the melody.
The all-healing method of my sanctuary though, is prayer. Prayer should not only be a sanctuary when you are in full retreat, it should be a constant counsel, but sometimes it is hard for me. And yet, everytime I need it, when I pray it provides such comfort for my fears, such respect for my tears, and such love for all I am. The quietly spoken communication with my divine Heavenly Father, and Savior is one that trumps all of my sad attempts for clearity and peace.
Every person goes about finding their safe haven, their sanctuary in a different way, in a different place, and yet we all want to achieve the same thing. "In every heart there is a room, A sanctuary safe and strong, To heal the wounds from lovers past, Until a new one comes along."There are always friends, and people who love us to also help us, and I think that sometimes humans CAN provide a helping hand, you just have to find the ones that are willing to. I have a list, maybe a small one, but a list nonetheless, of people that I know will love me through anything. I love them too, and I just want them to know that.
Such Great Heights- Postal Service
I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
I have to speculate
That God himself did make
Us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch
But its thoughts like this that catch
My troubled head when you're away
When I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road
For several weeks it shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home
They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now", they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"Come down now", but we'll stay...
I tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat it sounded thin
Upon listening
And that frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home
They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now", they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now", but we'll stay...
(music)
They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now", they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now", but we'll stay...
(They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now", they'll say
They won't see us waving from such great heights)
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