These gears In my head won't stop till I die,
Confusing reality with deep seeded lies,
Avoiding the truths that hurt me the most,
Accepting the ones that merely stunt my growth

What is worse to never grow up,
To never move on and never line up,
Or to handle the pain and trials that come,
Deciding to mature, and finally move on.

Unutilized strengths not sure I obtain,
Unconvinced, insecure, fearing I'll always remain,
Planted firmly in the cement, unable to grow,
Empty roots, rocky soil, self deprecated woe

insomnia

As I lay awake thinking, recycling thoughts,

Pondering this journey, and attempting to plot,

Tracing this issue all back to the source,

To the point of delusion, where I began this course.

As I lay awake thinking, and praying for change,

I realize the weakness, and feel so ashamed,

I can’t handle this, and I don’t want to do that,

The choices I’ve made I can no longer retract.

As I lay here thinking, and longing for sleep,

I see the flaws in my mindset, the one that I keep,

I can distance my body, and distract my mind,

Pretend to be different, but nothing rewinds.

As I lay here thinking, alone in the dark,

My mind has already wandered and picked up a spark,

To numb my reflections, and be anywhere else,

If even a fleeting minute, the problem melts.

As I lay here attempting to terminate the beginnings,

Of the same mindset, same dwelling in all of my sinning,

Writing these words, waiting for the dawn to appear,

Wishing the right choice and the easy were at all similar.

souls for sale.

Many sit and ponder at the female mystique 
While the world sits and scrutinizes our outer physique,
These gutted vessels under reconstruction,
Trying only to emphasize what the world wants to see.

Their eyes, their brows,Too much too thick,
Their teeth, their arms, and calves and lips
Their hips, their ass, their thighs must gap,
perfection always slipping, always losing their grip.

Be lean, be tall, their breasts too small,
Sit up, and smile, walk lightly, dont fall,
This gimmic, this ploy of master seduction,
Play the part, be that girl, IMPRESS US ALL.

still we get put down,For the effort put in,
For try too hard, attempting to fit in,
To these shoes, so tiny and danty and decieiving,
Our heads imploding from mixed messages we're receiving.

Dont cry, be strong. Let nothing go wrong
Love, but not too much, dont hurt, and move on,
reading the script, written by mere fantasy,
Only then to be called drones, cant anyone see

We are losing touch with everything we know,
By vacating every body, and disposing of the soul,
then cut down, and belittle, those who dont fit,
Neglecting the souls who aren't willing to forget